Always heard people said "You can choose to be happy instead of spoilt your mood to be unhappy. Why bother how other people think about you? Why care about it and get upset?"
Below situations, i dont think i've got the choice to be happy or not.
Case #1:
Your friends: "hey, you look kinda ..fat lately, has not been exercising?"
You:" .... " feeling down and moody.
Well, this might not be really hurt... your friends might just being nice to 'remind' you that you need to keep fit. But it still hurts ... :(
Case#2:
Your very close sister/brother: "You have not been contribute much to the family, please dont wear my shirts, i bought it with my own money"
You: "..." (do i really need to say it out loud that i pay how much for my mom each month? or do i need to tell you how much i spend to buy a new washing machine? or a new tv? or dvd player? So i cant wear the shirt you bought? You cant use the washing machine i bought? So you better not to watch MY TV ? Why are we sisters, sister? Please enlighten me! Yes, indeed i was very very disappointed and upset... Do u think i can choose to ignore those sentences?)
Case#3:
Your friends: "Why you like to put this picture as display? You does not look good.. change it la"
You: " ... "
I put it coz i think it's nice and i like it so much, just becoz you dont like it, u said it's not nice, ask to me change it and put something you like... it hurts me.. thank you. ( i dont remember how many times i encounter this... i dont remember that i did ask you to give opinion too. No, i m not pointing to the person who said it, but the fact that why people say it.)
Case#4:
You beloved handphone/wallet/watch/bag/shoes/whatever got stolen.
How to be happy about it?
Case#5:
Your boss: "Hey, this layout does not look very nice. Try change the color to this, then resize this banner to smaller size as it is NOT IMPORTANT. Then make this table without border. Then reduce all the picture size. A lot of user still using low speed connection. Must not make the website so heavy."
Well basically change everything la... althout the project has been alter for few times. Should i make it to suits your taste? or should it be designed just because of design? Why cant it be the way i want
You:"... ok ..."
Why do you hired me for when you dont like my design? :( Maybe he was right about everything, and i got no choice ... coz my design was sucks? Or design is NOT IMPORTANT at all, coz people who surf the website is not looking at the design (as he always said: Design is not important).. HAHA... :(
Case:#6:
Someone just bump into you, make your things (that you hold with your hands) drop and say no sorry... and just left without turning the head feeling sorry about it.
What? I deserve this? I am not happy for this .. ok? Not like i care he is rushing or what.. But this really makes me angry... can i choose to be HAPPY about HE BUMP into me without saying sorry?
Case#7:
Your friend: "Why are you staying at your bf hse all the time? You no need to go back home? Your mom wont scold you? your bf's family ok with it? "
You: " ... "
Maybe i should do the 'right' thing where everyone think it's right to do - MOVE BACK TO MY OWN HOUSE, yea.. to please everyone... make everyone happy...
Case#8:
Your darling did not pick up your calls. you were damn worry about why your darling din pick up the calls eventhough u called like N times... wondering what your darling is doing, is your darling alright, is your darling mad at you and ignoring your calls or whatever reasons that your darling did not pick up the calls.
That will make your whole day moody and thinking why. Sorry if you dun care that your darling pick up your calls or not, maybe you dont even care abour your darling, but i care and care about it very much, especially when i was outstation, or he was outstation. How can i continue to be happy? Me over worry? No, i just wanna make sure things that i wanna know. Is that too much?
Case#9:
Your friends: "why you always sing guys's songs? Why sing so low pitch songs?"
You: "BECAUSE I CANT SING LIKE YOU, I GOT LOW PITCH"
I got a choice to choose my voice? Do i? Thanks for not hurting me anymore and not asking me why i sing that way anymore.
Case#10:
Your granny:"You know your cousin brother who work in XXX bank? He got salary like RM x,xxx. He got higher salary than you are when he is only 23 (apparently younger than me). Why yours so less? You are a Uni grad leh."
You: "..."
what should i answer in order not to hurt their feelings? Can i tell them stop comparing me with other people? They just dont understand. Yea, we are chinese... chinese old folks really likes to compare their children. They put such high hopes on me, expecting their only Uni grad grandchild can get higher salary, so they can be very proud to tell everyone how much i got.
Why do i care so much? Becoz you are someone i care, i care about the way you look at me especially you are my family ... i can ignore it and choose not to spoil my mood for the day, but i cant... Not everytime i can ignore it... Just like the above.
I tend to ignore people who is not close with me, the calls (sometimes, i really missed, not really wanted to ignore), the messages, people i met on the street... because they will ask me questions like "Why so long never call me out?" or messages like " What are you busy with, you never reply my message.." Argghhh.. i am too busy to entertain you. Because i was tought to choose the way to make myself happy. I m happy that i dont have to entertain you. I dont like it when YOU ask me why i never call you along for the party... or for the drink session.. or for the movie.. or for the damn non-of-your-business dinner. Not everytime i do something that has got something to do with u...
You might be thinking i m not being optimistic. You might think that i like to accpet positive comments (who does not like? If ppl does not like you, why bother to comment you? If you wanna comment just for my good, why must say it in a way that hurts my feeling? )
"you can choose to be happy till end of the day, why wanna be unhappy? You have got a choice."
This is only to console people. Tell people to be optimistic. Putting fake hope. At least i think so. What if people is about to die? I mean, they got cancer and about to die.. no matter how you tell them to be happy is a choice, they still be unhappy and worry...
Ok, i shall stop. I dont know what to say. the more i said, the more you wanna argue with me. haha
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19 comments:
IC, so that was what happen recently. Someone has just said Cely is fat.Her Sis has found that Cely wore her shirt. PPl has been start noticing Cely hasnt been changing her msn pic for ages. Personal items got stolen. Work got pressure.Bump by stranger. Spending too much time at bf's house. NBTD OVer think her bf. Someone comments her singing is bad and lastly being compared to relative.
poor cely
no.. i was just refering to the topic.. and give some examples...
Dont worry.. i m not complaining.. just saying that i got no choice...
No doubt about it. Many things in life just suck... Personally I've never thought that phrase as being accurate too. Don't think it's wrong to feel hurt or angry when events you mentioned come our way...
So when I encounter such situations, I'll complain about it, be hurt and angry... Then I'll live my life trying my darnest to make the best out of whatever I've been given and don't hurt others the way others hurt me.
What about you? I think it's a great post, Cely.
since u still can blog about it
i think u already overcome it
;P
thanks joash... :p
shinchan... yea.. things already past.. and i was not happy about those things.. that's all.. hehe
aiya..don bother those things! come out join me cheong k.. ensure u will HAPPY back! keke
c_val : After me.
I already book her since last time.
Is happy really a choice?
NO~!!!! it really NOT a CHOICE~!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE sometimes... :d
val, ok la.. this weekend.. ok :p
Paikia.. i never really bother u that much.. haha.. will leave u alone.. :p
Ok lets go Karaoke. Release tension~!
Tralala~
Hey low-pitch sounds more sexy mah. Hehehe... Don't bother much. There's only one person who can make you happy. And that's YOU. =)
hahah..off coz i will make myself happy.. but i cant just try to ignore how ppl judge me. that really annoy me.
Wow cely, you must have gone thru a hell of a weekend. Imagine you pulling your hair and jumping up and down fuming with anger!
Well, you have your point in your post, great one by the way.
I'm sure many people go through what you go through all the time, being judged by people and being compared with. I guess it's just human nature because we are never satisfied with what we have and thus we compare with someone else.
Everything happens for a reason but sometimes we're too concern over the words and sentences that are so hurtful that we forgot to look for the reason.
I once read from a book where it says that, "we tend to hurt the person we love the most." I think it's true.
Lets say for Case #1, will you ever go up to a stranger and tell him that oh you're really fat! No, because you don't care about him/her. But you will sometimes jokingly tell a friend that she has put on some weight because you care about her and want her to look her best.
Also, we tend to shout and yell at our family members and start a fight. It's just done subconsciously.
Go redbox! lol. And not everyone can sing low pitch songs. Way to go!
thanks darren... really nothing can be done about it.. maybe i should take it as COMPETITION.. ahah :p
Oh Christ, thanks.
It was not about the weekend..(my weekend was pretty great anyway.. ehhe)But my fren inspired me to write about this when i heard she said "i'd rather to accept the fact happily than being sad for the rest of my day" during some conversation. :)
izzit that call life?!?! without exp on angry, upset, sad....... u wont know the value of happy ^^ so let's YUM SING~~~~
awww i don't think you're fat at all cely!
in fact i think you're HOT HOT HOT!!!
haha.. kamsia la boss stewie.. so sweet of u~
The power of PhotoShop! Yeah, babeh~ xD
ahha.. reon... u jelous ah.. i also very hot in real life geh.. ok ?
photoshop onli blurred my pimples... blek.. haha
Wow~~~Cely, the 10 case really happening to you? That was pretty bad...
Life is really tough sometimes. Sometimes things may come to be unexpected, hurt you the most. To overcome it, accept with with open heart...so at least you wouldn't be hurt much.
Cely, enjoy ur life rather than feeling upset bout it....Many things to happy about, juz by looking forward your path of your life.
Cheerz cely~~~^_^
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